Showroom Arrests, Volume 1.

Showroom Shenay nay ginz.

Hey.    Hey, you.                   ……You ever work with a convicted pedophile?

I have.

Guess where??

The fucking car business.             ….twice

Here’s one time:

This ‘ole tale is about yet another new guy on another Tuesday during another month in the car business.

New guy had been on board with us for maybe 2 months. Decent performer. Clean cut dude, not over- weight(so no hot- titties) and no obvious drug or alcohol problem. Basically Albert Einstein in relation to the usual sales candidates.

The sales people had run their “carnie- club” background check on him.

That’s when its a slow business day and the entire dealership googles the shit out of the new guy or girl. Court cases, newspaper articles, arrests, engagements, divorces, Facebook stalking, everything. ALL DAY.

We were all great at it.

Sales people do this to root out their competition. The other departments did it because they’re sickos.

Say you find incriminating videos or some poor bastards blog about anime. You casually pass that intel up to management and there very well could be a firin’. going on. Unless the guy or girl sold cars. Then they couldn’t fire them.

So new guy turns out to be a pederast. We’d known for a week or two. When I say we, I mean management. I was a Finance Manager at the time. Two other finance guys and two sales managers. All five of us knew this but the owner said ‘let it go’ because he sold cars. No one dared ask The Owner why or put up an argument. We let it go. The sales staff was tense about it but The Owner could care less.

So new guy sells a car this particular Tuesday and it’s my turn at the customer as a Finance Manager. So that’s the part where you buy a car from one guy then go to another office where another guy gets weird and pressures you on other stuff to buy. It’s called ‘the finance T.O’. Pederast was to Turn Over his customer to me for the up sell. Wonderful.

So he walks his customers through the showroom, a husband and his wife, and into my office. We shake hands then new guy hands me his paperwork for the car deal. I take it and turn towards my seat to get down and dirty and I hear a loud commotion behind me. I turn and see two police officers pressing new guys face against the glass of my office while they cuff him in a bit of a tussle. I just stared at what was happening and new guy was staring back at me. Then when they had him under control they took him away. That was that.

I got the eye of a sales manager across the entire showroom and instinctively yelled,

“What the fuck was that?”

Then I fell back into my chair and remembered I had customers in my office because I was fucking looking at their faces that same  instant.

I’d be lying if I claimed to remembered what I said or what they said.

I got the customer out of my office ASAP and they scurried out of the showroom like it was on fire.

He may have been arrested for parking tickets but we never found out. So obviously we decided that it must of been the child raping.

The End, right?   No.

That couple of customers went home with new guys business card and googled dat ass. They found it all and called the General Sales Manager worried because this pedophile knew everything about them. Address, phone numbers and they had two small children to boot. The manager told them about our policy to shred all personal documents (horse shit) and it didn’t even work!!! How could this be?? The lie didn’t work. NOW WHAT?

They complained and complained. You know what got them to call it square?

A set of floor mats and two years of oil changes.

-Steve