Used cars are NOT merely used you see. No, used cars nowadays come in many flavors. And bet your ass sometimes that flavor is shit…

For example, take a used car.

One of the mechanic’s drives it from the dealers lot to his bay in the shop on busy days…. a great test ride.

That mechanic, he looks at all the points

Yes, hundreds of points. Points all over the car.

Matter of fact, we got 188 (on average) points we look at,  and check.

Now, if that weak- ass car can pass our multi- point inspection? If that mechanic can mark those 188 points satisfactory or above then you have yourself a:


…and that’s gonna cost $XXXX.XX more money.

Just like that. Your about to be hyped. Stay calm. I’ve seen this with my own eyes.

I’m not saying the inspections aren’t being done, or that very few employees at some dealers understand the certified pre- owned programs, but I can only recall 5- 10 used cars that failed inspection in my years in that business. I’ve also had seasoned sales people horrifically misrepresent programs to customers.

What I mean is:

The certified concept is commendable, but the execution of it can turn into travesty if not quality checked from time to time. Lets look into this.

That certified program is a service that the consumer is charged extra for. The consumer needs to make sure that certified testing has taken place.

I know it’s shitty, and the dealer should do it properly. Most dealers do it just fine. But, just in case, I’m gonna help you if your still with me.

As a salesman I rarely knew what the fuck all this meant. I had so much shit going on at the dealership I was insulted to have my time wasted with meetings about nonsense.

Did you know?
During delivery of virtually every certified pre- owned  vehicle the dealer must furnish the 1xx +point inspection form completed by the mechanic to the owning customer?

The pre- owned certified programs advertised by the manufacturer are well worth the extra money in most cases. Though the execution of said program consistently every single time can apparently get a tad lack- luster from dealer to dealer.

I offer you my collection of all the current Manufacturers Certified Pre Owned Brochures and actual factory checklists. Sign up below.

Read this material and inform yourself.

Though a bit of a shit read, if you’re serious about buying a certified pre- owned dreamboat, know what you’re entitled to and inform the dealer you are aware of what you’re entitled to.

In most cases, and with minimal review of these free sign up programs, you’ll usually know more than the salesman about the Pre Owned Certified Concept.

Test them, professor.

This test should factor into your decision to do business with a particular Car Dealership at all , frankly.

What’s the chance you’ve bought a certified pre- owned car and never got a copy of the factories completed certified checklist?

In my experience, those odds are good.

End the showroom shakedown.


SIGN UP and impress your friends and family when you pound out an incredible deal at your local f%@#- house car dealer with ease.







Used Car Buyers Theory 101

 Old white chops has obviously read the Used Car Confidential

Used  Cars

Certified Used Cars

Vehicle History



      My.     God.

The used car, as folks have long suspected, is the bread and butter. The Jim- Jam. The Money Maker. The Reason for Treason.

I’ll stop now…

Surely, buying a used car is the riskiest purchase to be had at any dealership. The many variables and mutating aspects involved would make anyone question the existence of God. Especially how the Sales people seem to want a final; and legally binding in some cases; decision in a few hours, or less,  and without customers thinking too- too  much.

The good news : It’s possible to understand buying a Used Car thoroughly.

The bad news: It may take longer than a few hours.

This is the section that boils it down to it’s oily, shit smelling essence and makes it easier for the customer.

Imagine that?!?!                                            -Steve