Car Sales, Hypnotism, Both?


Car sales is a war zone you say?

Are you aware of the conflict taking place between dealerships and their customers?

Well its a big deal folks.

And apparently, this conflict started in the early 1990s by the looks of this authentic wartime poster:

Why is a game show host dressed like General Patton?

That’s James A Ziegler, Jim to his associates, and ALPHA DAWG to everyone else. Yes. Alpha Dawg.

This is his advertisement for the consulting firm he runs with his wife and an IT person.

Mr. Ziegler is a living legend in the automobile sales game.

He’s the man who is usually hired by failing and or under performing car dealerships to come down from up on high and teach the dealership how to dealership.

He’s hired to motivate salespeople, managers, and absentee dealership owners. Specifically automotive sales people. He has these proven systems he’s constructed all guided by principles he learned selling cars in the 1980s when, according to Alpha Dawg, he “set world records in sales”.

He then moved into management and the rest I can’t remember. Who really cares.

Looking like a drug dealing Vice Principal.

The point is Mr. Ziegler was really good at selling cars in the 1980s. So good at selling cars in fact, he took his wisdom and put that shit in a bottle. He takes that bottle to bad dealerships, puts a nipple on it, and lets them sip, sip, sip it.

He is a profitability powerhouse proposing a proven sales process to produce profitability and maximize potential…. (I just made that up)

But all those P words make it kind of a sing- song rhyme and forces you to remember it, am I right?

Ziegler is a  self- described Nostradamus- like see- er of things to come in this business we call Car.

I know what your thinking. Big deal. This guy isn’t so Alpha.

Then just go and watch the man in action. Let that old boy just put the story on you real good. It’s an event for sure.

Also, James A Ziegler:

  1. Wears hats that say Da’ Man or Alpha Dawg on them.
  2. Drives a bright red Corvette and wears a stupid thicc gold chain.
  3. Diamond Studded Sausage Fingers.


Seriously though, a person like that simply can’t exist, right?



Exhibit A, B, C, and D.
Welcome to the car business.


Seriously, go to YouTube and ponder your maximum productivity while a man draped in diamonds and wearing a baseball cap with an insult on it tells you how awesome you could be, but your just not “going after it” hard enough; and try not to kill yourself.

Selling Cars in the 1980s

Jim’s wealth of knowledge is drawn upon from life, love, loss, and selling cars in the 1980s.

Now, according to all known car lot- lore, the eighties and most of the nineties were some type of Renaissance period for piece of shit car people.

It’s when all the things dealers and salespeople go to prison for in this day and age were invented.

It was a period that made car people the dirty scum of the earth we are today if you listened to the Old- Dogs talking their shit out on the lot.

Stories of fraud, lies, misdirection, bait and switch, all while The Culture Club played in the background.


Is this book the memoir of a second- rate magician? Nope, just The Alpha Dawg opening bank vaults with his mind again.

Mr. Ziegler, say it ain’t so…

I’m telling you about Mr. Ziegler to illustrate a point about bad car sales that people need to understand. When it seems to good to be true it ALWAYS is…

I can’t see the tits, but I have a bad feeling I know this guy…

A supper- club hypnotist from the 1970s has been dazzling some dealerships about how to sell cars to people for 30+ years. You cannot make this up.

Many professional sales speakers make a very convincing plea, but they rarely take questions.

I know this rant doesn’t give any advice on beating the dealer, but it does demonstrate a world you may very well enter when you go car shopping.

The dealers that won’t give you a price up front.

The dealers that won’t make you an offer to purchase over the phone.

The dealers that often misdirect people and make buying a car the most bizarre purchase of their life.

The dealers that don’t give you time to think until your driving away with your new car…

They may have had their profitability maximized by Mr. James A Ziegler.

get out of there if your salesperson starts swinging a pocket watch in front your face is what I’m saying…

Hypnotist, Corvette Enthusiast, and the best damn speaker period.

Mr. Ziegler, you had a great show tonight.

Sign up if you want to. I have a personal collection of car industry buying information that will help you win your next car deal and its always FREE.

Reminder: What a real soldier looks like. I think he just asked if you signed up or not…


Used cars are NOT merely used you see. No, used cars nowadays come in many flavors. And bet your ass sometimes that flavor is shit…

For example, take a used car.

One of the mechanic’s drives it from the dealers lot to his bay in the shop on busy days…. a great test ride.

That mechanic, he looks at all the points

Yes, hundreds of points. Points all over the car.

Matter of fact, we got 188 (on average) points we look at,  and check.

Now, if that weak- ass car can pass our multi- point inspection? If that mechanic can mark those 188 points satisfactory or above then you have yourself a:


…and that’s gonna cost $XXXX.XX more money.

Just like that. Your about to be hyped. Stay calm. I’ve seen this with my own eyes.

I’m not saying the inspections aren’t being done, or that very few employees at some dealers understand the certified pre- owned programs, but I can only recall 5- 10 used cars that failed inspection in my years in that business. I’ve also had seasoned sales people horrifically misrepresent programs to customers.

What I mean is:

The certified concept is commendable, but the execution of it can turn into travesty if not quality checked from time to time. Lets look into this.

That certified program is a service that the consumer is charged extra for. The consumer needs to make sure that certified testing has taken place.

I know it’s shitty, and the dealer should do it properly. Most dealers do it just fine. But, just in case, I’m gonna help you if your still with me.

As a salesman I rarely knew what the fuck all this meant. I had so much shit going on at the dealership I was insulted to have my time wasted with meetings about nonsense.

Did you know?
During delivery of virtually every certified pre- owned  vehicle the dealer must furnish the 1xx +point inspection form completed by the mechanic to the owning customer?

The pre- owned certified programs advertised by the manufacturer are well worth the extra money in most cases. Though the execution of said program consistently every single time can apparently get a tad lack- luster from dealer to dealer.

I offer you my collection of all the current Manufacturers Certified Pre Owned Brochures and actual factory checklists. Sign up below.

Read this material and inform yourself.

Though a bit of a shit read, if you’re serious about buying a certified pre- owned dreamboat, know what you’re entitled to and inform the dealer you are aware of what you’re entitled to.

In most cases, and with minimal review of these free sign up programs, you’ll usually know more than the salesman about the Pre Owned Certified Concept.

Test them, professor.

This test should factor into your decision to do business with a particular Car Dealership at all , frankly.

What’s the chance you’ve bought a certified pre- owned car and never got a copy of the factories completed certified checklist?

In my experience, those odds are good.

End the showroom shakedown.


SIGN UP and impress your friends and family when you pound out an incredible deal at your local f%@#- house car dealer with ease.







Used Car Buyers Theory 101

 Old white chops has obviously read the Used Car Confidential

Used  Cars

Certified Used Cars

Vehicle History



      My.     God.

The used car, as folks have long suspected, is the bread and butter. The Jim- Jam. The Money Maker. The Reason for Treason.

I’ll stop now…

Surely, buying a used car is the riskiest purchase to be had at any dealership. The many variables and mutating aspects involved would make anyone question the existence of God. Especially how the Sales people seem to want a final; and legally binding in some cases; decision in a few hours, or less,  and without customers thinking too- too  much.

The good news : It’s possible to understand buying a Used Car thoroughly.

The bad news: It may take longer than a few hours.

This is the section that boils it down to it’s oily, shit smelling essence and makes it easier for the customer.

Imagine that?!?!                                            -Steve


Internet Sales Are the Worst

An Internet Manager praying for sweet release…

Internet sales are the worst, for dealers that is. I have said myself, and have heard, those five words in the title thousands of times while I was employed in the biff-niss of cars.

The internet is the scourge of the car business at present. In fact it has been since the late nineties. Though I was not in the car business then I can tell you what I know. I was in High School in the nineties. Yes, I did in fact graduate.

Thank you.

This knowledge was passed down to me from the old- timers on the sales floor.

The Original Salty- Dogs

The Fore- Fathers of Fucking You Over

Therefore it’s validity will remain unknown, but car guy folk- lore usually starts with a kernel or two of truth believe it or not.

The late 1990s would bring to the show room a new type of customer. They would hold papers in their hands showing the FACTORY COST of new vehicles they were interested in.

They’d say, “I got this off of the Internet”.

I like to imagine it like the Stock Market Crash of 1929 but instead of bankers jumping from tall buildings, Car- Guys were getting into insurance sales and real estate. Do believe those industries have old- schoolers  in them. I see them on TV from time- to- time. I can smell dog salt.

So since then dealers now have entire Internet Departments in place to handle these ‘online inquiries’. Usually those departments are staffed by non- sales oriented individuals that are rarely paid on department profit , since those profits are a complete travesty.

The internet department is about volume sales. “Move the Metal” as old dogs say, but they used to ‘Rape with Metal’, it was a different time then, like I said before.

INTERNET CONFIDENTIAL will break it down nice and easy.

It’s for the folks who’d like to hang onto a little dignity during the car buying process. I will eliminate 90% of the wack- tactics some dealers use before you ever set foot on that dealers car lot.





Showroom Arrests, Volume 1.

Showroom Shenay nay ginz.

Hey.    Hey, you.                   ……You ever work with a convicted pedophile?

I have.

Guess where??

The fucking car business.             ….twice

Here’s one time:

This ‘ole tale is about yet another new guy on another Tuesday during another month in the car business.

New guy had been on board with us for maybe 2 months. Decent performer. Clean cut dude, not over- weight(so no hot- titties) and no obvious drug or alcohol problem. Basically Albert Einstein in relation to the usual sales candidates.

The sales people had run their “carnie- club” background check on him.

That’s when its a slow business day and the entire dealership googles the shit out of the new guy or girl. Court cases, newspaper articles, arrests, engagements, divorces, Facebook stalking, everything. ALL DAY.

We were all great at it.

Sales people do this to root out their competition. The other departments did it because they’re sickos.

Say you find incriminating videos or some poor bastards blog about anime. You casually pass that intel up to management and there very well could be a firin’. going on. Unless the guy or girl sold cars. Then they couldn’t fire them.

So new guy turns out to be a pederast. We’d known for a week or two. When I say we, I mean management. I was a Finance Manager at the time. Two other finance guys and two sales managers. All five of us knew this but the owner said ‘let it go’ because he sold cars. No one dared ask The Owner why or put up an argument. We let it go. The sales staff was tense about it but The Owner could care less.

So new guy sells a car this particular Tuesday and it’s my turn at the customer as a Finance Manager. So that’s the part where you buy a car from one guy then go to another office where another guy gets weird and pressures you on other stuff to buy. It’s called ‘the finance T.O’. Pederast was to Turn Over his customer to me for the up sell. Wonderful.

So he walks his customers through the showroom, a husband and his wife, and into my office. We shake hands then new guy hands me his paperwork for the car deal. I take it and turn towards my seat to get down and dirty and I hear a loud commotion behind me. I turn and see two police officers pressing new guys face against the glass of my office while they cuff him in a bit of a tussle. I just stared at what was happening and new guy was staring back at me. Then when they had him under control they took him away. That was that.

I got the eye of a sales manager across the entire showroom and instinctively yelled,

“What the fuck was that?”

Then I fell back into my chair and remembered I had customers in my office because I was fucking looking at their faces that same  instant.

I’d be lying if I claimed to remembered what I said or what they said.

I got the customer out of my office ASAP and they scurried out of the showroom like it was on fire.

He may have been arrested for parking tickets but we never found out. So obviously we decided that it must of been the child raping.

The End, right?   No.

That couple of customers went home with new guys business card and googled dat ass. They found it all and called the General Sales Manager worried because this pedophile knew everything about them. Address, phone numbers and they had two small children to boot. The manager told them about our policy to shred all personal documents (horse shit) and it didn’t even work!!! How could this be?? The lie didn’t work. NOW WHAT?

They complained and complained. You know what got them to call it square?

A set of floor mats and two years of oil changes.











Don’t Depend on the Dealerships

High pressured stupidity is real

Don’t take it the wrong way but, C.G.C is here to tell you once and for all:

Most car dealerships ARE NOT conducting their business with the customers best interests in mind.

I know, its seems crazy but I assure you it’s true.

No matter what you may think or even feel during interactions you’ll have with a car dealer, all of them are operating to make money just like any other business.   And that’s not a problem.

Some dealerships go about making their money using fair and clear methodologies, but I’ve never worked for one. Nor have I ever met  a sales person that worked for one.  I’ve heard of them though….now that’s a problem.

Hell, I’ve even been told I was working at an honest store by an owner or two. They told me this to my face while looking me square in the eye. They were even proud that their dealership was “above board”.

Those owners, like the many owners I’d meet in my tenure, were full of nutty brown bullshit.  I would go as far as to say that in my experience, if you want to find the biggest turd in a car dealership, you must first find the biggest office.

The owner sets the tone of a dealership you see, and that tone usually sounds something like this:

“Fuck you. Meet my consistently unrealistic sales goals by ANY MEANS NECESSARY or fuck you, your fired’. Did I mention fuck you? Okay, I did. Good”.

So please, get your information from ANYONE other than the dealership when it comes to your budget. Please.

Car specifications, vehicle comparisons or feature explanations are one thing. Sales people can be great sources of real world vehicle knowledge, but they are not your financial advisor.

   Don’t give the dealer the opportunity to tell you whatever you want to hear, because they will.  

This is why Car Guy Confidential exists.

Here you will find the information necessary to make an educated decision about purchasing a vehicle. New or Used. Good credit or bad.  It will be detailed and hopefully entertaining.

Buying a car and having bad credit whilst avoiding a booty pounding CAN BE DONE.

I promise.

It’s only a matter of information gathering, which now you won’t have to do.

I’m gonna give it ALL up baby. You just hush up and look purrty.

Your true adversaries when car buying are:

                                    Negotiation and Carnie Sales Tactics

All that misdirection, deception and car- guy skulduggery that needs to be exposed and removed in order to move forward and change the way cars are sold. That is the problem I now have. I HATE problems.

My mission is to level the playing field. To give every customer a fair shot at getting the deal they want while exposing malarkey and shenanigans wherever they exist in the ‘sales process’ that I’ve come to understand very deeply in my time on the line being a piece of human garbage.

Any and all questions are welcome anytime.

Don’t make a decision without the facts.



PS:  Feel free to contact me below if you work at one of those ‘reputable dealerships’.

My intent is not to make the great job a good dealer does any more difficult than it already is.

I like to know when dealers are righteous. Or when any business does right.

Consumers need to know you’re out there as well.